Michael Vick : Dog Hunter
Vick indicted by a federal grand jury on felony and misdemeanor charges involving Dog-Fighting, yeah so?
by : Cypher

August 2, 2007

So one day you get up out of bed and turn on ESPN News and there it is, Vick and three other guys are indicted by federal grand jury on some dog-fighting. I ask myself, do I really give a shit? The answer is no.

July 17, 2007 is the date that Vick got indicted with operating an interstate dog fighting business called Bad New Kennels that's based off some property he owns in Virginia. To make matters worse his buddy that got indicted with him strikes a deal with the prosecution to snitch on Vick, oh my damn. Apparently the poster-boy for Valtrex was directly involved in handling the payouts for the gambling and either killing or simply straight fucking up the dogs that under-performed or lost in their bouts, tough break poodles. The result of this was his suspension from the NFL by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, and why the fuck for? It's only a bunch of four-legged, ass licking, and occasionally baby rapist beasts. With that recent report of a baby getting raped by a pitbull or some shit you have to figure these little tail waggers deserved to be put in the ring against each other with the loser being placed in a real doggie bag. So with all the media circus surrounding this shit, those pussies over at Nike dropped their deal with Vick aswell as several other companies. As if Nike knows anything of morals, I suppose if Michael Vick stuck some little chinese kids in a sweatshop he'd have gotten an extension. And Not only was this story all over ESPN but also on every news channel on the planet, are you fucking serious? There's bigger things in the world to report on than Vick fucking up some dogs, how about the war? How about the North American Union? Good old media, they sure got their priorities in order, never passes up the opportunity to chastise a black celebrity, thats gotta be #1 right? Shouldn't Lindsey Lohan being back in rehab be dominating the headlines? Stupid corporate controlled media fucks. And speaking of stupid, honestly, way to go with getting caught with all this bullshit Vick. Was making all those millions in the NFL not enough? Is the true reason you were dogfighting simply because you wanted to know how it felt like to be a winner? Let's face it, you'll never make it to the superbowl and now you'll probably won't make it to a football field ever again. Way to go Valtrex.

The lesson of the year is if you want to get suspended from your job, lose all your sponsorship money, get snitched on and face a possibility of jail-time then follow in the footsteps of one Michael Vick : Dog Hunter.

NO ROMO(HOMO)
Romo's last minute fuck up costs boys the season
by : Cypher

January 8,2007

For fuck sake! This is what it came down to? A rookie QB placing the ball down so the kicker can KICK the ball through the sticks, easy right? Well apparently butter fingers Tony Romo decided to royally fuck himself and the city of Dallas when the ball just happened to slip through his oily hands. To his credit Romo recovered it and in a spark of genius tried to bull rush through for a touchdown only to get run over by the Seahawks Defense at the ONE yard line, great fucking job asshole.

19 yards, nineteen motherfucking yards was the length of the kick that Cowboy's kicker Martin Gramatica had to kick for the game winner. Gramatica, who has been pretty automatic for the Cowboys since replacing Mike Vanderjagt a.k.a. the biggest choke artist in recent memory (how does the most accurate field goal kicker in the history of the NFL supremely fuck up a 46 yard field goal attempt wide and really WIDE right in the AFC title game 2006) has to be fucking stewing at his obviously retarded quarterback. And with that said, queue the tears, after bumbling the snap Romo instead of standing up like a man, taking it and walking off the field with some sort of dignity, begins to cry like a little girl who just had her lollypop stolen and smacked upside her head by Tigger at Disney World. There is no crying in football pussy. Speaking of pussy and football, how does a Quarterback get to the pro bowl for only FIVE games, are you shitting me? Romo ended up replacing the stationary ancient robotic Cowboys quarterback Drew Bledsoe midseason and went on to win five of his first six starts meanwhile he was getting linked by the media to dating super whore Jessica "I got gangbanged by the entire cast of Jackass while my husband was out of town" Simpson. Apparently thats all it takes to be selected into the Pro Bowl and yet you have wide reciever for the Cowboys Terrell Owens leading the entire league in touchdown passes with a fucked up hand getting rejected because he is to much of an attention whore with the media. Go fucking figure. Now Romo is drinking his way to oblivion, by himself, on his couch, with no super whore and not even his own mother by his side, how does that feel Mr. Pro Bowl? How does it feel that your the laughing stock of the NFL and the center of hatred in the city of Dallas? How does it feel that whatever current super whore your dating is currently getting fucked six ways by the Seattle SeaHawk defensive line? Is that another tear I am sensing?

All in all, you know the old saying right? There is always next year! Well, you know what? Fuck next year, and fuck you Romo. No Romo (homo).